Did you know that when you communicate only 7% of your message is contained in the words you use, 38% in the tone and style of your voice and 55% is contained in your physiology (your expressions, your eyes, whether you are flustered or calm etc). Some people refer to this as non-verbal communication. Although spoken communication is a direct way to convey a message, it can be masked. In your physiology the message can be conveyed in a truer sense or form.
Think about it for a second, have you ever asked someone to do something and they say "yes" but you can tell by the way they clench their teeth, and the expression on their face that they are not actually happy about doing it?
With this in mind, it is important to familiarise yourself with this art of non-verbal communication because it can support you in improving the way you communicate with others (I am of course pre-supposing that you want to improve the way you communicate!).
Keep in mind that interpretation of physiology has a high probability rate but it may not necessarily be definite. However with practice you can become a real expert at recognising certain traits in people and learning how to respond or communicate based upon them.
The map is not the territory
Our world is made up of a "map" that we have created ourselves based on a collection of past experiences, our attitudes and belief systems. Our tendency is to filter our experiences
based upon our perceptions and beliefs.
This of course will be different to another person's perceptions and beliefs. If you find it difficult to "step into their shoes" and see the world from their viewpoint then communication can become difficult and heated! Remember that because our map has been made up a certain way it does not mean that this is how the world is even though your belief system will tell you something different!
The meaning of the communication is the response you get
Some people struggle with this presupposition because it places the responsibility for communication squarely in their court, which of course it is! Communication is not about giving fifty-fifty. It is about giving 100% to a conversation from both communicators!
There is usually a desired outcome to communication whether it is to lead, encourage, delegate, request. If your desired outcome has not been met then chances are you may have not expressed yourself in such a way that it fits with the recipient's "map" or view
By taking 100% responsibility for communication within a conversation you are not "taking the blame" and it is not "your fault". This statement just means that the conversation ended badly and if you look to see what your part was in that then you will gather some great insights into future communications.
However, if your option is to "blame them" then nothing can be achieved
You cannot not communicate
Communication is so much more than just words and learning how to recognize and interpret the other forms of communication can provide you with a certain advantage, not necessarily so that you can use this against another, but so that you can use it to communicate effectively and honestly with them.
Mark Peters is a member of The International Association of Trainers in Aggression Management, a qualified NLP Master Practitioner (Society of NLP) and Clinical Hypnotherapist (GHR). He works with local companies and national organisations to facilitate change. the organisation also offers Stress Buster workshops, on-site massage, exercise classes and one-to-one sessions.
This one day workshop can be delivered at your venue for a maximum of 20 staff. Price for the day is